Build Inner Safety: How to Let Go of Control and Reclaim Your Power

Have you ever found yourself being overcontrolling or feeling powerless? Are you usually pleasing others instead of yourself, or insisting everyone do things your way?

Both extremes, control issues and submission, have more in common than you may think. They are two sides of the same coin—lack of inner safety. 

Inner power, like everything else in life, finds its utmost beauty in a perfect balance. We are aligned when we are empowered while still surrendering—doing what’s in our hands, but accepting what cannot be changed.

If you struggle to find the perfect balance, let’s explore how inner safety can restore trust, stability, and power. Discover how to let go of control and reclaim your power again.

Why We Give Away Our Power or Grab for Control

If you feel your inner stability might be at stake, be aware of some signs of control issues and submission.

Signs You Might Be Giving Away Your Power

Giving away your power means you put too much energy into what others may think, allow others to make decisions for you, and minimize your presence. Here are some ways you give away your power.

People-pleasing

You do anything to please other people, even if that means saying “yes” when you want to say “no.” You want others to like you, so you change who you are to be accepted.

Shrinking

Shrinking is the act of holding back your potential, dulling your shine, and limiting yourself when you know you can give more. It can look like being quiet when you want to speak, avoiding taking risks, or being afraid of fully expressing yourself. 

Deferring

You let others make choices for you, deciding how your life should look and who you should be. You may doubt your judgment and allow others to choose for you, consciously or not. 

Signs You Might Be Grabbing For Control

Another expression of unstable inner power is grabbing for control, which, in other words, is being overcontrolling. Control issues represent a lack of inner stability that can express itself in different behaviors.

Micromanaging

Your fear of failure makes you obsess over controlling every detail of a situation, believing that if you manage every small factor, nothing can go wrong and everything will be “perfect.” 

Overanalyzing

You are overanalyzing when you make up scenarios in your head, weigh every possible outcome, and seek absolute certainty. This process traps you in an infinite loop of decision-making.

Overcompensating

Overcompensating is a defense mechanism in which you work excessively hard to compensate for mistakes or deficiencies. Your perceived weaknesses make you feel so bad that you try to conceal them at any cost to feel worthy. 

Healing the Nervous System

Both patterns are two branches of the same tree—your nervous system. These struggles with inner power arise from the body’s instinctive drive for survival 

When you unconsciously give too much power, your body is telling you to appease others, conform, and fit the norm. You avoid conflict and want to be accepted because of the instinct of belonging to a group for survival, even if it means rejecting your core values.

On the other hand, you grab for control to fight what you perceive as external threats. This is how your nervous system battles to feel safe in an unpredictable world.

But remember, these threat warnings triggered by your organism are often false alarms—the world is not surrounded by danger. These alarms stem from an unbalanced nervous system. Hence, the need to heal, restore your inner stability, and feel safe again. 

Learning how to let go of control and reclaim your power becomes an essential part of the process, an inner journey of finding balance and healing the nervous system. 

The Role of Inner Safety in Healing Control Issues

Inner power is complex, and we find its physical expression in our nervous system—the seat of connection between the body, mind, and soul. 

In the face of inner conflict, a dysregulated nervous system creates instability, leading us to seek survival at any cost. In this scenario, control issues arise, and we give up our power or obsess over control.

However, control issues have a subtler source. They have their roots in a deeper energetic process—the lack of inner safety.

Inner safety is our sense of security and stability. It’s the key to restoration and finding inner peace. 

Our sense of safety has its sacred seat in the root chakra, the energetic vortex at the base of the spine associated with stability and connection to Earth. A healed, balanced root chakra promotes feelings of security.

Inner stability reduces the need to cling or collapse. When we are in energetic alignment, the energy of security flows throughout our body and brings the nervous system back to balance.

How to Let Go of Control and Reclaim Your Power

Building inner safety is the key to learning how to let go of control and reclaim your power. Follow these actionable steps to restore your internal stability.

1. Grounding Techniques for Nervous System Healing

Grounding practices help regulate the nervous system. It’s like a gentle reminder to the body that we are safe and there is no need to set the alarm. 

Here are some simple grounding techniques to reduce anxiety and tune into your body.

• Body scan

• Breathwork

• Walking barefoot ("earthing")

2. Connecting to Spirit, God, or the Universe

Inviting a higher power into the healing journey is an action of empowerment. 

When we surrender to the Universe, there is no need to grab for control. We feel “held” and secure, and the world is no longer threatening. 

Also, it reminds us of our divine origin. There is no need to outsource our truth or give the power to someone else. We recover the inner wisdom and power that were always there, within ourselves, ingrained in our souls.

Connecting to a higher power can look very different depending on your beliefs, but you can do it through simple daily practices: meditation, prayer, spending time in nature, etc. Experiment and do what resonates with you. 

3. Strengthening Your Root Chakra

The root chakra is the hidden energetic source of submission and obsession with control. By unblocking this subtle center, the energy of security and stability flows naturally. 

You can help heal the root chakra with visualization exercises and affirmations. Try imagining a therapeutic light that fills your root chakra while cleansing it and releasing negative energy. Combine this practice with positive affirmations like “I am connected and grounded through the earth.”

Additionally, use meditation to identify and process any unrecognized trauma that blocks the root chakra.

4. Creating Energetic and Spiritual Boundaries

Healthy boundaries protect your energy and come in different forms: physical, emotional, mental, energetic, and spiritual. By setting physical, emotional, and mental boundaries, you become more resistant to psychological manipulation, emotional contagion, and crowd behavior. 

On another level, spiritual and energetic boundaries are a protective barrier that shields you against negative energies and external influences. They are vital for spiritual and energetic balance.

You can set spiritual boundaries with visualization techniques (imagining a protective light that shields your aura), crystal work (using black tourmaline or obsidian), or with positive affirmations (“Negative energies bounce off me and return to their source”).

Final Thoughts on How to Let Go of Control and Reclaim Your Power

Learning how to let go of control and empowering yourself can feel challenging in times of uncertainty, especially when you come from a place of emotional imbalance. But remember, inner safety is not a destination; it is a state of mind we cultivate with daily practice.

When we feel stable inside, external circumstances do not exert the same power over us. The need for control loses its grip.

You don’t have the power over everything—and that’s okay. Surrendering to the Universe is the best way to let go of control and reconnect with your inner wisdom. 

It may be hard, but be patient. Start small, with one grounding or boundary exercise today. Discipline is the key to success.

If you’re ready to move beyond merely surviving and embrace a life of alignment and peace, I invite you to book a complimentary spiritual consultation, where I’ll personally tune into your energy and guide you.